Here's the deal. I've been single since time immemorial. So, in an attempt to remedy my eternal singledom, and to get over my nauseatingly pathological fear of dates, I've decided to challenge myself. The challenge? To go on one first date a week for a year! So in 52 weeks time, I will have either found my Mr Right, or I'll stay forever Miss Write. This is what happens...


The Rules

Here are the rules to the 52 First Dates challenge...

1. A first date must be had once a week, EVERY week, for 52 weeks.

2. Taking someone home after a drunken night on the cider does NOT count, otherwise this challenge would just be slutty, and none of us want that do we?!?

3. Second and third dates are allowed, I must continue first dates unless there are exceptional mitigating circumstances. For example, God forbid, the start of a relationship.

4. Each date must be blogged.

23 November 2011

Mr #24 - Nigel Blandsell

The preamble:
I'd been messaging Mr #24 on an off for a month or so. His emails were good, we shared common ground in our love of Garth Marenghi's Dark Place and Nathan Barley, he owned a cat, and he had excellent command of grammar. He was also a former racing driver, and his multitudinous photos in his blue racing onesy I won't lie did catch my eye a little. He wasn't exactly a model, but he looked nice and smiley, and he was so polite in asking for a date I thought why the devil not!

The man:
Age: 36
Profession: Media wrangler slash part time racing instructor
Random factoid: Recently won a poker competition. Albeit a crap little local one where the prize was a little plastic trophy.

The date:
I felt a little sorry for Mr #24 before I met him, as I had been in full on shambolic mode all day. Since being up since 5am, I'd had a bonkers day at work, a tactical 4 hour mid-afternoon snooze, the unwise idea of cooking sausages in my dating ensemble, an embarrassing episode at the doctors whereby I got stuck in my dress then tearing it trying to present my arm to a hot doctor for the taking of blood pressure. Plus I was 15 minutes late. And honking of chipolatas. But he was very sweet about it, so I thought I'd managed to get away with it. Just. We met at Oxford Circus, a cunning venue I thought as everyone has some idea of their favourite pub in the locale. But not Mr #24. Once again I was in charge of choosing the venue, so we pottered off to a quiet little pub that I knew served Sailor Jerry's, we found a little pew and set to with the date. He wasn't an unattractive man, but he'd certainly been cleverly selective with his choice of photos. He was paler, more petite, and his hair was somewhat greyer than I'd expected. But he had a nice friendly face, that is, when he wasn't eyeballing my cleavage or pulling odd faces like a 1920s schoolboy. Conversation was on the whole very safe: school life, university, public transport (literally the dullest but most universal of safe topics), Made In Chelsea, various injuries sustained over our lives (mine was a soup-related scalded leg, his was a broken cheekbone thanks to a run in with a fist in Portsmouth) and cats. He showed slightly uncomfortable over-interest in my tattoo, a little too much sympathy for my anecdotes, and literally agreed with everything I said all night. Come on boy, where's your chutzpah! He was on the whole a very sweet guy, but I just found him blander than an average vanilla cheesecake on a white porcelain plate in a dining room recently painted floor to ceiling in magnolia. I wasn't entirely sure of his grasp of acceptable first date conversation either, especially as mid-evening he inquired as to the nature of my doctor's appointment. The temptation to tell him it was to sort out some fictional intimate infliction was almost too much, but I resisted. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't, because I reckon he'd have had to dug deep into his personality reserves for some sort of reaction had I mentioned the words 'syphilis', 'thrush' or 'haemarroids'. After two drinks, I was really flagging, and his persistent agreement was sapping the life out of me, so I had to turn down the offer of a third beverage and leg it to the bus. But, being the gentleman he was, he insisted on waiting for the bus with me which, as it turned out, took twenty awkward minutes to arrive. Thanks 25, thanks a bleeding lot. He didn't strike me as the face-burgling sort, so I thought I'd be able to escape snog-free, but I'd used up all my good small talk, so the best I could do was suggest how many routes he could take to get the train so he didn't have to wait for me. But wait he did. Two rather insipid air kisses and the arrival of a double-decker later, and I was away and dreaming of my beddy byes.

Memorable Quotes:
'I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings in one day before. On a number of occasions'

'I have eleven different types of tea at home.' And then, he listed them. All. He lives alone, just in case you were wondering...

'I got you a straw for your drink so we could tell which one was yours and which one was mine. And you're drinking with it. That's good'

'Did you know the right way for a ying and yang is for the white bit to be on the top. But Bruce Lee put the black on the top, and that's wrong.'

Events of note:
The couple sat in the corner of the pub virtually having sex. It was off-putting to say the least, and I hoped my date wouldn't notice and take it as an idea.

The verdict:
All in all it was a disappointing evening. I'm sure there are lot of ladies out there who'd love an agreeable chap to kowtow to their every word, but I like someone with a bit more balls to them. Come on love, have an opinion! Disagree with me about something for god's sake, challenge me! And don't spend the entire time agreeing with my chest, it's not going to be any more forgiving than my face you know...

10 comments:

  1. My mum and dad have watched all the Lord of the Rings in one day on more than one occasion. I have not. They tried to make me once but I fell asleep. My Boyfriend disagrees with most things I say, it certainly adds grit but sometimes a bit of agreement would be nice. I know what you mean though.

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  2. Hehehe, boy just can't win can they ;-)

    I just want someone with their own opinion, someone who'll challenge me. If I wanted a lapdog, I'd buy a Llaso Apso!

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  3. Only just found your blog and I'm totally hooked! Please don't find your future husband for at least the next 20 dates :-)

    Kirstiexoxo

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  4. BOOOOOOOOOORING!

    Next!

    Also I am totally the reason you were hungover and unreceptive to his dull as a post advances... oops!

    (Blame the Trunch)

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  5. I totally love the fact you, a McFabulous Blondie, an antipodean Poe-lover, the Trunchbull and Tim Minchin were all collectively responsible for my cranky Rioja-bonce. I'm sure if my date had been more entertaining I could've beaten it into submission. But instead, caving into the vino-slump was the lesser of two evils. CTS x

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  6. Cannonball15 (twitter)25 November 2011 at 10:16

    'I have eleven different types of tea at home.' LOL says it all. You would've thought a race car driver would have a bit of go in him.

    Hope the next one's abit more interesting for you

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  7. Oh dear- YAWN! Hope you can find someone to hold your interest by Crimbo...dunno why I've set that festive deadline, actually I do- to me, its the lonliest time of the year...

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  8. Have you been in touch with the Lithuanian guy? He seemed the most fun, random, sincere, and normal, which is basically the jackpot.

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  9. We were a bit afterwards, but he found himself a girlfriend within about a week after I met him so I didn't pursue it further.

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  10. Props on the title of this post by the way, as a keen F1 fan it had me chuckling.

    This is my favourite part: 'but I just found him blander than an average vanilla cheesecake on a white porcelain plate in a dining room recently painted floor to ceiling in magnolia.'

    Mmmmm. Cheesecake.

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Thanks for reading 52 First Dates! And thanks even more for commenting!

Read some of the emails that didn't make it to the real life date stage...